Heads up!

hello! just as a quick heads up, starting this friday may 25 (2012, for those who may not know the year and really should learn) my internet connection will be questionable, due to a vacation i'll be taking. that means i wont be able to check my emails or blog, and be unable to add new posts. so if you shoot me a comment or an email, it will be a while until i respond. in the few quick intervals of time in which i do have connection, i promise i'll do my best to get on here and/or check my emails. but fear not! i pinky promise i'll be back by either saturday, june 2, or sunday, june 3! one last quick news update: for all those kik fans, i have created one if you feel this easier to access me. my username is nat1198. so if you need personal tips or help or need someone to vent or talk to and dont like or dont have access to email, feel free to send me a message to me. thank you all soooooo much for all the support of this and i really hope i'm helping! love you all!
~natalie:)

i cut myself, but im looking to stop. it's a lot harder then it looks! any tips?

first of all let me congradulate you on taking that huge step to recovery in deciding you want to stop. it's not easy. i do have one tip, but it's not a garentee, but it has helped some people considerably. have you ever heard of the butterfly project?
       ok this is not mine; i didnt come up with it. i just saw it somewhere. i got this picture off of google images (i thought this looked nicer then me just typing it). but here it is. this has helped someone i know a great deal and i really hope it helps you. and if it doesnt, the only other tip i have is pure will power. you're stronger than you think. you're also more worth it then to do that to yourself. smile, because someone loves you. and if you really need a friend or someone to be there for you, my email is in my profile and in my "starting off!" post. i'd be happy to help. leave a comment if you'd like and i really hope this helps!
~natalie:)

i act really tough, but on the inside i'm really not. how do i let others in on that without appearing weak?

this is a pretty common problem for a lot of people including myself, so i'll tell you what i did/do. first off, i wouldnt just say that outloud, unless you talking to a bf/gf and/or a close friend. people may misunderstand you and think you're just saying that to get attention and think you dont mean it. show your depth in the details. for example. when hanging out with friends, just pause and look up at the sky. when they ask what you're doing, say, "nothing. i just like the clouds [or color of the sky if theres no clouds]".i'm not saying it has to be that specific quote. that was just an example. but small pauses to say something deep can show people that there's more to you then your rough exterior. something as simple as that can show you light and deep side with out sounding weak. leave a comment if you'd like and i really hope this helped!
~natalie :)

quick note!

i want to apologize ahead of time for any past, present, or future spelling and/or grammar mistakes! im normally alright with grammar, but i may as well be one of the worst spellers ever. i normally catch it in a proof read, but if i miss it, sorry! and thanks so much for the support!
~Natalie :)

my friend is seriously suicidal! help!

this is extremely seriouse. start by letting your friend know how much they mean to you and to others. give them a reason to live. next dont leave them alone. make sure someone is with them. dont instantly take away all sharp objects for this may make them feel like they are being treated like a child and just force them to think of creative ways of doing it. then get help! talk to some adult you can trust to help you. they may be pissed that you told someone, but you may have just saved their life, so just let them be mad. one day they'll be thankful. even if your friend is just showing warning signs (such as depression, joking about suicide [ex: talking about killing themselves then ending in "just kidding!"], expressing slight suicidal comment) no matter how big or small, dont ignore them. talk openly about suicide. make sure you tell your friend how much there is to live for. most of all, be there for them. good luck. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helped!
~natalie :)

my parents want me to be a big moneymaking success, but i dont want to do any of the careers they want me to do. they keep pressuring me to change my mind. how can i convince them to accept me?

i know exactly how that feels. my mother went to college at 16 and is a doctor and my father is an engeneer. both very smart and successful, and both want my syblings and me to be the same way. i remember how disapointed my mother was when i told her i wasnt to interested in medicin like her. they would always tell me to be a doctor or a lawyer or something big that i had no interest in. luckily my parents support my dream of being a therapist (i know, shocker that that's what i want to be), but i can see how no all parents are like that. you just need to sit them down and say, "look, sorry but i'm not into that. im going to do my own thing.". if that doesnt work, just remeber: it's you're life. not your parents. dont let them force you into doing something you're going to be unhappy with for the rest of you're life. they may not like it, or you may feel bad about disapointing them, but when it comes time to seiously make a decision about your life, make sure it's something you want to do. not something they told you to do. it may be hard to believe, but them pushing you to be some super moneymaking success just means they really love you. theyre just trying to do whats best. but somethimes only you can make that decision. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helps!
~natalie :)

i think my friend has an eating disorder! how can i help them?

this is deffinetly something really seriouse. first thing i would do is confront them head on about their problem. what ever you do, dont ignore it or pretend you didnt see it. talk to them about their illness and try to get as many details as possible that you could use to help them. next, strongly urge them to get help! find a support group with them. if you can and they are to afraid to go alone, offer to visit the support group with them. this may make it easier on them and more likely that they will go. if your friend still refuses to get help, tell someone. a teacher, a parent, a guidence counseler, some trusted adult who can help you on this. they may be mad for a while that you told someone, but weigh that to the fact that you could save their life by doing this, i hope you'll tell. but now more then ever, you need to be there for your friend. make sure they make a full recovery. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helps!
~natalie :)

my friend's talking about losing theyre virginity to theyre date, and i think it's a horrible idea! what do i do?

theres not all that much you can do. you can try to talk them out of it, but you'd have to do it smart. dont act like their parent and be like "no sex for you!" because that will only make them angry with you and then make them want to do it more. do it as a concerned friend like "look, as your friend, i think this is a bad idea, but it's your life." if that doesnt work, then the least you can do is make sure they know what could go wrong (STDs, pregnancy, ect). but either way, it's their life, and you cant control it. but if something does go wrong or your friend regrets it, a good tip is to refrain from saying "i told you so" in any manner. i know your worried about your friend, but the only thing you can do for sure is be there for them. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helps!
~natalie :)

i heard my best friend is about to get dumped! should i tell them?

that really depends on what type of relationship they were in. if what was left of the relationship was fizzling and both people knew it, then you can tell them if you'd like. by that point then that type of news may still be painful to them to hear, but at least it wont be a full blown shock. if your friend was really attatched to their boyfriend or girlfriend, then i wouldnt let them in on it. hearing it from their boyfriend or girlfriend first may provide some sort of closure on the relationship. because you telling them would be like you giving a spoiler to the twist ending of a movie or book, how you dont feel satified because you already knew. the fact that the boyfriend or girlfriend said it to them may leave them extra heartbroken, but at least it will be easier to get over becuase they had at least some closure. warning, this piece of advice is not accurate 100% of the time, but most times it is. one way or another, just make you're there for your friend, because a brake up is never easy. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helps!
~natalie :)

what do i do if i hear "popular people" gossiping about my best friend?

STICK UP FOR THEM! and trust me, i know its easier said than done. i know how intimidating that popular crowd can be. but this is your best friend, dont let that group tear them apart. even if it is the prom queen or the quarterback of the football team and you'd like nothing better then to not piss them off, they're bullying your friend. and by you just letting them, that'd make you a bystander. for all of those who havnt heard this term before, a bystander is someone who stands idly by while bullying is going on. a lot of times, bystanders are considered as guilty as the bully. but also, it'd be best not to make a huge scene. just say "hey look, that person is my friend and i'd really rather you not talk about them that way". in a calm manner, you get the point across without completly enraging anyone. also, its your choice or not whether you want to tell the friend what the other kids said. that part's up to you. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helped!
~natalie :)

how do i get killer confidence?

SOOOOOO many people have such low self esteem! i felt it was crutial to post a sulution to this problem. first thing you need to do is accept yourself! just look in the mirror and say encouraging things (it may sound completly stupid, but you'd be shocked how well it works). like "hey, i may not be perfect, but no body is!". you also need to see that everyone (yes, even the "popular people") feel self self conciouse. its part of life! but everyone feels that way. another important realization that you need to make for some spectacular confidence is no body is flawless. everone is unique. sure, that person may be better at something, but you can be better at something else. everyone has a talent (yes, EVERYONE). you just have to find and perfect yours. you can also try doing something that makes you feel good. go on a walk with some friends, ride a bike, call someone, draw, sing, play guitar ect. what ever it is you do and enjoy, go do it! it'll put you in a good mood and naturally make you feel good about yourself. one last tip, dont dwell on the negatives. everyone has them. just focus on the positive things about you! if you start to feel that self doubt coming on, just quickly start thinking about something good about you. for example, i'm really self consiouse when i wear strapless shirts or dresses. but when i start to feel that way i just think of the little things that i like about myself. so i think, "i like my freckles. i like my nail polish im wearing now." (sorry boys, that last one cant always apply to you). just little things! and im sure you can find something about you that you like, or something that you did. like "i got a good grade on that algerba paper. i held the door open for that old lady." just anything that you like about what you did or who you are. either way, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and im sure someone thinks your beautiful. leave a comment if you want and i really hope this helped!
~natalie :)

my best friend and i love the same person! what do i do?

this has happened personally to me a number of times. how i see it, you have a couple of options:
a.) STICK IT OUT: probably the most painful. if you really want to be the friend of the year or the person likes your best friend as well, you can let your friend have them and you can stick this one out. it hurts, but you will most likely get over it eventually. but if you take this you have to commit to it, it'd cause trouble to change your mind halfway through their relationship and will probably will not get you on your lover's good side. but this does avoid drama if you're the type of person who hates drama, but it will be painful for a period of time.
b.) NEITHER OF YOU TAKE IT: talk to your friend directly about the problem. yes, its a sacrafice on both of your parts, but there will be other people you love. its the best method if you really want to keep your friendship strong. you need to think whos more important in your life; your best friend or the one you love at the time. if your best friend instantly comes to mind and theyre willing to agree to this, then this may work for you.
c.)TAKE THE LOVER: warning! if you choose the person you love over you're best friend, they may be seriously hurt and you may lose them as a close friend! you also may get a bad reputation as a bad friend. but if your ok with those prices then go strait for the one you love
         these are the three most common (but not only) solutions to this problem! leave a comment if you want an i hoped this helped!
~natalie :)

im gay, lesbian, bisexual, or questioning, but still in the closet. who should i tell (if anyone at all)?

one thing I'll do is post answers to commonly asked questions. here's one i get a lot.first thing i would recommend is making sure you accept yourself. how can you expect people to accept you if you wont? if you're afraid of being bullied or judged, start with a couple close friends first. you'd be surprised how relieved you could feel just by telling one or two people. if they're real friends, they will accept you. parents/guardians are tricky. as much as i'd urge you to tell them right away, i can understand your hesitation. but no matter what, family is family. if they dont accept it, they will eventually. it'll be ok. stay yourself and dont listen to what any haters think. leave a comment if you want and i hope this helped!
~natalie :)

starting out!

Hello! my name is natalie, and i am the confidential teen therapist! i do my absolute best to solve and answer a lot of questions or troubles teens have, and give the best advice i can! you can leave me a question or problem in the comments. i hope my advice helps you, and if you have any private problems or questions you'd like to ask me about, you can reach me at nat1198@comcast.net any time and I''ll answer them on this or by email (which ever you prefer). the two rules i follow are NO JUDGING and NO TELLING! i will never judge what ever problem or question you have, nor will i ever tell anyone who you are or what you said (note the confidential part) unless you give me permission. this is just to help anyone and everyone who need it! i accept all ages and genders (pretty much anyone). life is confusing for teens, and i hope i can help!
~natalie :)